Dosed
by Sweetly Waste Away
Summary: What if Bella really did jump off the cliff on purpose? New Moon spoilers! Songfic and oneshot. [Song by Red Hot Chili Peppers]


_A/N: Sooo, I was going along my day, listening to my iPod. This song by the Red Hot Chili Peppers came on, called 'Dosed'. I have listened to Dosed since I was a wee little child, but something screamed 'Twilight'! to me when I heard it this time, so I whipped up the handy dandy little songfic/oneshot. I hope you enjoy, and if not, I'm truly, very sorry._

"Edward, Bella's going to die." Rosalie stated solemnly over the cellphone, which dropped out of my hands and onto the tiled kitchen floor. I was off and running in a second. I never paid any attention to the passing trees, the cars flying by me, the numb feeling that started from my dead heart and slowly spread all over my body. I was on my way to find Alice. I needed proof. I needed to see it too believe it. If I had been there, she would have stayed. I could have protected her from whatever had taken her life.

_

I got dosed by you,

_

And closer than most to you,

And what am I supposed to do?

Take it away, I never had it anyway.

Take it away, and everything will be okay.

Alice replayed the vision that she had had in her mind as we flew across the blue ocean, on our way to Forks, with only the slightest strand of hope that we could save her before it was too late. I had stopped functioning, not saying anything, not even panicking. I had just stopped. After I had seen Bella diving off of that cliff, and falling into the water. . . I thought she would just bounce right back like a pearl on a smooth surface, be fine, be happy without me, just like I thought would be best. No, she sank. And she didn't come back. Her dark, beautiful silhouette in the raging, icy water simply stayed still.

_

In you a star is born,

_

And you cut a perfect form,

And someone forever warm.

She would never get the one thing that she had wanted. Well, in a sense she would. . . Dead, but not awake. My non-beating heart seemed to be ripping itself apart in guilt, as Alice looked down at the floor of the airplane, shaking her head slowly, her eyes full of sadness. My angel was dead. Our angel was dead.

_Way upon the mountain where she died,_

All I ever wanted was your life.

Deep inside the canyon I can't hide,

All I ever wanted was your life.

She would forever be a maiden of the sea. The only thing that would ever embrace her again would be the bittersweet water. Never would I see her blush, see her smile, see her eyes light up when she looked at me. Never would I see her peacefully sleep, and know that she would soon wake up to be with me again. Never. How could I live? I couldn't. I knew she was in Heaven now. **You don't deserve to die, to be relieved of this eternal life. You don't deserve to fly up to Heaven, and be with her. You deserve to stay here forever. You let her do this. You're just a monster.**

_

Show love with no remorse,

_

And climb onto your seahorse,

And this ride is right on course,

This is the way I wanted it to be with you.

This is the way I knew that it would be with you.

In some way, I wished I had made a different decision. The decision to change her. To let her live for all eternity. **But that would be selfish.** One part of me told myself. **She died. Like a human should. Naturally.** It continued. **But she didn't die naturally.** Another side argued. **She killed herself. Because of you.** Both voices were true. If only things had been different. **But you can't go back in time now. You ruined her life.** The voices kept bringing me down, the whole fly there.

_

Way upon the mountain where she died,

_

All I ever wanted was your life.

Deep inside the canyon I can't hide,

All I ever wanted was your life.

I had a feeling we were too late. Instead of seeking out the cliff, we went to her house.

"Edward. . .? Alice. . .?" A voice called from the other end of the door. I knew it was Charlie. He sounded. . . different. The door opened, and he immediately looked at me with bloodshot, anguished eyes. I tried my best not to sink to my knees and sob, for I heard the answer before it came out of his mouth.

**She's dead.**

I felt Alice turn to me and rest her head on my shoulder, her breathing ragged. Now it hit me full on. The numbness blew away like leaves in the wind, and I suddenly felt the most pain I had ever felt in my life.

_

I got dosed by you,

_

And closer than most to you,

And what am I supposed to do?

Take it away, I never had it anyway.

Take it away and everything will be okay.

"We are here mourning the loss of Isabella Marie Swan." The man said, once he stepped up to the pedestal. But I didn't notice him. All I noticed was black. Black dresses, black mascara running down Renee's face, black sky, and a black coffin with a single red rose atop it, honoring the death of my love, and my life.


End file.
